I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my being single is dangerous.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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