Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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