My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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