respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
