What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
