Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
