Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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