I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
