i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
