dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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