Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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