I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
