I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
