watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
