Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize