i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Pooping to opera.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
