what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
