The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
