Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I understand Curling. That high.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize