the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Panties = found
Randomize
