The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
