I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
