when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
