ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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