theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize