I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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