it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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