Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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