best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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