he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
