U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She's the barista slut.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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