So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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