My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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