Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
