On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
