Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
