I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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