You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
