make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
