How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
