I understand why you refuse to be sober now
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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