Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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