i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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