Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
