FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
