Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
