Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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