This girl is more easily done than said...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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