I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
