so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
