is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
