this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
