his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
