I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I currently don't understand fingers.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
