Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
