Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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