my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
