I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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