Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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