she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
