So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
