So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
