is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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