Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
