the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
